Strength

I love this picture to the left. Taken a few weeks ago at the Heart of America competition, it represents so much to me. I think it's the combination of grit, determination, camaraderie, a lot of things really. Strength too. I've come to the realization that I think a lot. When I am busy I concentrate on the tasks at hand. I make lists. I cross items off. But when the busyness settles down, I start thinking more in terms of the "what-ifs" in life. It's not bad, and I think that it's good to contemplate all that life's thrown at ya. I just tend more often that not to think about the things I can't control or the opportunities I passed up.

I'm pretty sure this happens when you've changed career paths so many times it makes your head spin to think about it. It's the stopping and starting that's so jarring. I had a pretty good chat with my mom today about where I expect to be in a year or two, and I admit, I really like dreaming about what's next. I know I want to work. I'm a career-oriented chick, and that is what's important to me, at least at this stage in my life. I could end up in any array of cities, or right here in Springfield. Doing who knows what. God willing, I am doing something. I will die if I have an MPA and no job. You think I'm kidding. I'm so not.

But that's enough introspection. I don't like it. It bums me out. I'm almost done Christmas shopping. I have a clean apartment. I have a completed stats research project. Now what? I think I'll go run.

I've decided that I need to come up with a project for the 3 weeks I'll be on Christmas break. I cannot be left to mull around and eat holiday treats. Good Lord. Right now I'm thinking it'll include leisure reading (hello, Salinger!), choreography cramming (hello, RPM!), and self-inflicted happiness rays (hello, tanning bed!).

I can't wait.